Random Survival Tips I’ve Discovered: Part I

About 6 weeks in my city here and I’ve learned:

We can stop dosing so much Bisacodyl and Senna. Just feed every one curry. You will stay regular. 

Nose hygiene is a daily thing. After cycling or walking around the city or to work, your nares are coated with a fine crust of booger cake. You must be a nose-picker in order to thrive.

The Thai word for pumpkin sounds like a cuss word. I learned this from a Thai couple who were asking what was in a Burmese soup. The man kept bursting into giggles while trying to explain. “It’s called ‘Fuk’ in Thai hee hee hee, hee hee hee.” The woman rolled her eyes at him  

Fuk


If you can’t read Thai, it’s easy to find that you’ve bought a sack of fertilizer instead of a sack of rice. 

Girls should have delicate nicknames - like “Bird” or “Fish” or “Flower.” I went out with a Thai friend and we decided I would pick an animal to nickname myself. Her nickname in Thai is Nok, which means bird. I chose “Elephant.” My friend’s eyes widened and she told me that’s not a good name. An elephant is big and fat and not beautiful. I said but elephants are smart and emotionally intelligent. She said, “I will call you ‘Rabbit.’” Hahahahaha

If you buy cheese-filled naan bread from the Muslim shop and dip it into marinara sauce, it’s a lot cheaper (50 Thai baht) and tastier than paying for an actual pizza  (300-600 baht).

When you buy bedsheets in Thailand, it only comes with a fitted sheet and 2-4 pillowcases. No flat sheet. I finally an actual flat sheet at the wholesale market in the hotels section, but it cost 3x more than buying the longyi skirt I found in the outdoor market which I unfolded and have been using it as a flat sheet. 

When it is muggy outside every day, you don’t mind that your shower only has cold water and not hot water.

Lay lay lah means “Can you poop?” in Burmese. What else can I say in Burmese? Only “hi” and “thank you.” Just the essentials, man. 

…More eureka moments next time!

Either this or curry. You’ll poop like a champ


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